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For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish


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  #21  
Old 09-22-2018, 05:33:24 PM
John Mathieson John Mathieson is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this rubbish

When my kids were little I worked that hard to keep the money flowing that raising the girls was left to my wife. I was vaguely aware of a couple of short people in the house but that was it. They both turned out great one becoming a doctor & the other a shopkeeper. I think that raising kids correctly has an amount of luck associated with it.
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  #22  
Old 09-22-2018, 08:57:43 PM
I like oldstuff I like oldstuff is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this rubbish

John it's just a matter of instilling correct values in the kid's brains early in life.
And with girls it's important to not adhere to the old "you're a princess" attitude since they are 6 months old. Ya done good mate.

A dear mate I worked with as an EMT, a psychiatrist and I were discussing him closing his practice over copious cocktails one night.

Aah Gene I rambled, why in hell do you want to close that lucrative office. FFS you're making $400K a year. Whadya gonna do, sit around the house and look at your wife?

He said it's driving him nuts. the practice is filled with otherwise normal women from 24 to 40 that just effin don't understand that they have to work. He was just fed up with the whining.

I poured more booze.
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  #23  
Old 09-24-2018, 02:12:17 AM
cobbadog cobbadog is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this Rubbish

Sounds like the perfect solution, more grog!
Anyone can have my 2 after my ex spoilt them as they grew older and I was not with them as they were a long way away from me. Now the ex is paying for it in a way as they both keep going back to her place to live and bludge off her. They get nothing but cold hard facts from this grumpy old mongrel and they don't like to hear the truth.
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  #24  
Old 09-24-2018, 04:41:20 AM
Darryl Darryl is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this Rubbish

Must have been about 15 or so years ago, i remember being at a kinda do of some sort with my middle boy just standing there , when my sons little mate decided to punch me in the nuts.
I grabbed his arm and whacked his arse quite hard and thought i dont care what the other parents say.
To my surprise i got complements from the kids mum although there was a few gasps from the crowd at the moment.
Later on in life that kid is now a dad himself and i like the boy and his still my son's mate.
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  #25  
Old 09-24-2018, 07:02:23 AM
I like oldstuff I like oldstuff is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this Rubbish

^ It's payback time.
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  #26  
Old 09-24-2018, 07:48:12 AM
Paul Richardson Paul Richardson is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop this Rubbish

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Originally Posted by Darryl View Post
I grabbed his arm and whacked his arse quite hard and thought i dont care what the other parents say.
A similar experience Darryl,the only son(9 yo) of probably my closest friend was accompanying me on the track from his house to the machinery shed.A 9 yo on a 450cc Honda Quad.I don't remember now what the excitement was at the time,but he was accompanying me on the quad,me on foot,the 100 yards or so to the shed.
A couple of times the boy lined me up to play chicken with me,squirting the throttle and making me get out of his way.Two or three times and on the third time I gave him a direct order to "knock it off":rant,..which at the time I suspected had fallen on deaf ears.Sure enough he did another U-turn and made another run at me.The 450 is a pretty big machine,and a nine year old has to tippy toe on the pegs to get enough reach for the handlebar,and his arse was sticking up in the air where a blind man could hit it.
On his next pass that's exactly what I did,and I didn't hold back.I swatted the boy properly,to my satisfaction,hurting my own hand and causing an instant eruption of tears and howling.With that he hit the throttle hard for another u turn and we had a brief standoff.I gave the kid the body language,folded my arms and stood firm and invited him like I would a grown man ,.."COME ON THEN!!?".
One look and he could see that the game was well and truly over.
He went back to the house and was nowhere to be seen when I got there.His mother was not so happy with me,but I spelled it out before she had a chance to speculate.I told her the boy was taking chances with breaking my hip or leg with the bike and I told him to stop but he paid zero notice,so I cracked him on the ass,AND I MADE IT A GOOD ONE!
Mum and the boy were finished with me for the day,but a week or two later and we were ok again.Eventually I came to see that the friendship and respect with the boy had changed ,..for the better.
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  #27  
Old 09-25-2018, 01:55:21 AM
cobbadog cobbadog is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

Dont forget to give him another one just to remind the little s*&t who is in charge! Sometimes payback should be ongoing.
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  #28  
Old 09-25-2018, 04:16:01 AM
john gilbert john gilbert is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

You nasty pair of bastards, now, I wonder why I never got treated like that when I was a kid. Maybe my wrestling skills had something to with it, but then, we never had quad bikes in my days. Then again, when I was 14, I was only 5 feet tall and 14 stone and still one of the smallest in my grade, but I was the wrestler. Cheers, John
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  #29  
Old 09-25-2018, 07:24:37 AM
Wayne Timms Wayne Timms is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

I normally don't fuss to much about these non engine threads.

But I have to say, if someone struck my 9 year old child hard enough to hurt their own hand, they may not get time to explain why...........and tell me what 9 year old knows what kinda pain hitting someone 'in the nuts' causes.

These issues should have been taken to the parents to deal with.

My opinion only,

Wayne
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  #30  
Old 09-25-2018, 08:02:35 AM
Darryl Darryl is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

There is aspects you don't know about the situation i mentioned Wayne. And it's not whether the 5 year old knows if it hurts or not, it's about respect and discipline as he was told to stop a few times first. On a side note, the kid had drug addicted parents and was a little arsehole but my wife and me and his Grandmother had alot to do with rearing him as he was my sons mate and he now is good and he is very respectful. Yes, that is just your opinion but your reading things from just the basic facts that were told when things are more complicated.
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  #31  
Old 09-25-2018, 09:48:53 AM
karragullengine karragullengine is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

I think any nine year old that has been to school be it a girl or a boy knows what hitting a man in the nuts will do to him. Did you not ever play kiss hug or torture at school? When the big butch girl caught you one thing you only ever did once was say torture. You learnt pretty quick after that having pride got you nowhere!!
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  #32  
Old 09-25-2018, 03:24:48 PM
Scotty 2 Scotty 2 is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

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Originally Posted by karragullengine View Post
Did you not ever play kiss hug or torture at school?
Nope. We played handball, chicken, rocket ships out of the old fig tree or red rover. Apparently we didn't want to catch girl kooties when we were 9.

Around our way there's a few young boys who regularly participate in rallies. You could not ask for better kids. They're great people to talk to and they've got more common sense then some of the grown ups. I put it down to principles/morals/codes of conduct taught to them by their extended families.

Cheers Scott
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  #33  
Old 09-26-2018, 01:12:23 AM
Paul Richardson Paul Richardson is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne Timms View Post
I normally don't fuss to much about these non engine threads.

But I have to say, if someone struck my 9 year old child hard enough to hurt their own hand, they may not get time to explain why....

These issues should have been taken to the parents to deal with.

My opinion only,

Wayne
....I think you may have hit the cutting room a little hard there Wayne with your editing?I don't see any mention of a menacing by a 300kg quadbike?You would be referring to my experience there wouldn't you?
And "someone"?Who is this random "someone" who comes onto your property and 'strikes' your 9 year old son?It looks to me like you have taken to the experience that I related here earlier and have pulled it to bits to say something completely different?
Interesting isn't it,what people can make out of the rough outline of a story,if it suits their purpose to see things a certain way?
In the experience that I related,with some 20 plus years at the time of very close friendship with my closest friend and his wife,after being made the boys sole guardian on occasion,i can assure you that a "please explain" from the parents,might not as you put it,have been "given the time" to be put a second time?Why would they choose to insult me with doubts after trusting me with such high responsibility in the first place?
Often when views or real accounts like this easily find an opposite voice the differences are at a fundamental level,and for that reason are not able to find common ground.Some of it is cultural,but in my view almost all is experiential.Culture and experience after all would be very difficult to separate in meaning when discussing culture.
Sammy is not with us now,sadly,the boy on the quad,and i did let him down once in his early 20s with a very poor response to his needs.I have to live with that,and now after more than two years I am still unable to properly lay my failing in that instance to rest.When I look back now to the quad incident though, I feel proud that I could serve him well,and that I was able to offer him the response that was potentially the most costly to myself.
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  #34  
Old 09-29-2018, 04:36:59 AM
Wayne Timms Wayne Timms is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

Hi Paul,

Obviously you don't understand my point of view and to be honest I don't really understand yours either.

The post was around disciplining other peoples children. I was merely pointing out that I don't believe this is a good idea. Let me rephrase my comments....if I was to hit, as an adult man, a 9 year old hard enough to cause pain to my own hand, I would consider that abuse not discipline.

If a 9 year child is riding a quad bike in such a dangerous or careless manner, I would say look to those who allowed him to think this was okay as those at fault - not the 9 year old child.

Who gave the child the quad bike to ride on? Who taught him to ride the bike in such a dangerous manner? Why was he not taken off the bike as soon as he started to be silly or careless?

And this is my opinion.....

I would much rather we discuss old machinery, I thought thats what this forum was for.

Wayne

EDIT: Meet, greet, yabber and yack. (English dictionary definition of yabber. Australian n. Rapid or casual talk; chatter.) -- Harry
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  #35  
Old 09-29-2018, 11:19:01 PM
Paul Richardson Paul Richardson is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wayne Timms View Post
Hi Paul,

Obviously you don't understand my point of view and to be honest I don't really understand yours either.

The post was around disciplining other peoples children. I was merely pointing out that I don't believe this is a good idea. Let me rephrase my comments....if I was to hit, as an adult man, a 9 year old hard enough to cause pain to my own hand, I would consider that abuse not discipline.

Wayne

EDIT: Meet, greet, yabber and yack. (English dictionary definition of yabber. Australian n. Rapid or casual talk; chatter.) -- Harry
I think I might be a step ahead of you there Wayne, in realising that we are having trouble catching onto each others viewpoint?If you cast your glance back to my previous comment you will see where I consciously inserted "Often when views and real accounts such as these easily find an opposite voice the differences are at a fundamental level,and for that reason are not able to find common ground".
You are of the opinion that the post was about disciplining other peoples children,but I would disagree totally with that idea.The "discipling" (which is where the concept of "discipline" comes from) or leading the child from my position in the family could only be done by example,and if any of that had been effective it had been offered over a period of around 9 years?
What I found myself choosing to do under pressure in the experience that I related was to 'intervene'.Disciplining a child and making a conscious effort to try to intervene in his dangerous actions by the best means available at the time are two totally different ideas in my mind.There is also a question around the idea that the actual reason or root cause behind the 'need' for the intervention was a lack of adequate discipline via the parent(s) in the first place?
I'm pretty sure I don't like your blanket judgement either?From what I can gather you are inclined to view the idea of an adult crossing a certain pain threshold in his own palm while hoping to avert a possible broken pelvis as a key indicator for child abuse?That view as it appears here is somewhat 'legal',and continues to appear to me to be rinsed of any consideration for the adults relational position with the child within the family,along with the continued disregard for a speeding quad brushing my jeans a couple of times,..no clue as to when he might actually tire of the sport, or if the very next 'fun pass' by the boy might end in disaster.
Perhaps I could borrow a quad somewhere and look for a similar open space where we could role play for awhile?I think I could provide a reasonably good imitation of the boys antics?You could walk for a little while in my shoes while you work out how you might get my attention enough to effect an intervention,without hurting your hand.
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  #36  
Old 09-30-2018, 12:23:00 AM
Scotty 2 Scotty 2 is offline
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Default Re: For crying out loud: Stop This Rubbish

Hello all
I was just reminded of something else the physiologist in post 10 told me. She told me I wasn't allowed to yell at kids.
I asked what do I do if I can't yell STOP!!!! or NO!!!! to a child that is about to put his/her hand onto a red hot hotplate or about to pull a saucepan down off the top of the stove. She told me I should be talking to the child in a low voice about consequences of actions and all that caper. I told her it's a bit late when the kids in hospital with 3 degree (or worse) burns. Then I yelled NO!!!! and the young sheila jumped back in her chair. See....it works I said to her. And no-ones hurt. It went down hill from there until I walked out

The sister in law surprised me again last week. I've just finished a few verandas on our Brisbane house and my brother and his 3 girls visited to borrow the trailer. My 5 year old niece (the one with anger issues) is not allowed on verandas apparently. I asked the 5 year old why. She said she's not allowed on verandas because she'll climb the hand rail and jump off. Now is that the kids fault or the parents? I do blame my brother as well. He should be putting his foot down but blokes tend to just shut up to keep the peace.

Cheers Scott
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